The Northville Review
an online literary journal
An Erotic Love Poem to My Mancrush, Jeff Goldblum

Shanny Jean Maney

Written By Shanny Jean Maney, Age 11 (Jurassic Park) and 13 (Independence Day)

I. Jurassic Park

Your thoughts are bigger than my head. 1
How many years old are you? I’m eleven, so…? 2
I like your glasses.

II. Independence Day

I like computers, too. We have Windows 3.1 now. I changed the background of it. 3
I want to know more about your character. Does he like music? 4
I like your glasses. 5
I Like your Glasses.

The End.

I like the way you say things, so articulate and braineyackie.
Your science knowledge makes me feel like my underwear is
ticklish and I think I will maybe pee accidently in this drive-
in double feature. It’s You and Rookie of the Year. Rookie of
the Year
was really funny. They said “funky butt lovin” so
many times I thought I was maybe going to pee my pants
then, too. That was different than this. I’m nervous.

I like the way your clothes are on you. You have tan skin
and you look bulgy. You look like you could lift me up really
easily, and I weigh almost seventy pounds. If I had a bra, I
think I would let you touch the strap of it.

Now it’s a repeating pattern of a Scottie dog I made entirely
by myself. Red and black. No one even showed me how. On
that note, my brother didn’t even know how, and he’s in high
school honors. It’s a Scottie dog. I get A’s, Jeff Goldblum.

Does he like “Dream Lover?” By Mariah Carey? I do. I have
it on a CD. The whole album is on it, and the whole album is
called “Dream Lover.” Have you ever heard it? If you want
you can borrow it. And give it back to me.

They. Look. Great. On. You. Sorry, my heart is
POUNDING here. I do not know why, but I keep
simultaneously trying to and trying not to imagine what it is
like when you have to go to the bathroom. It’s so weird!
JEEZ I’ve gotta pee. Listen. I have on a Fruit of the Loom
training bra, double A. It’s white. It’s made of t-shirt. The
straps are kind of pretty. I feel like you should see it.

About the author

Shanny Jean Maney is a performance poet and teacher living in Normal, IL. With poet pal Robbie Q Telfer, she co-founded The Encyclopedia Show, a live variety extravaganza that commissions local and touring artists and experts from many disciplines to use their individual talents to present a different verbal encyclopedia entry each month. Since its inception in Chicago in 2008, The Encyclopedia Show currently runs in Chicago, Austin, Providence and Oklahoma City (with additional cities in the works). See for more info.